“Come on guys, I know you know how to watch your language. You have to do it all day at school. Let’s keep it clean.” I said for the second time that afternoon. I know that we work with many students that use rough language, and I am used to overhearing rough language and in many cases, just ignoring it. But when it is being yelled out on the basketball court with great frequency, we try to help the students understand how their respect others with their language.
That was how my day at the basketball court started, being “the heavy”. Having to be the guy that the students didn’t know, wagging my finger at their f-bombs. Not a great way for me to start a relationship, but the way that I ended the day on the basketball court was even worse. But how I ended the day on the court might have made me a legend and will hopefully help me build a better relationship with my fellow ballers.
I would not recommend my method though.
As an executive director, I have not spent as much time with students over the last few years as I did in the first few years with YFC. As we are training and bringing on new staff, I have been spending time helping to run The Next Door, our Poulsbo Drop-in Center. After the scenario I described in the first paragraph, I wandered around the center. I played a couple of games of Smash Bros., asked a few students about the band on their shirt, saw how a couple of students' homework was going, and then headed back out to the court.
I have found that when middle school and high school boys are playing ball, it's good to have someone present just to help students keep cool heads. When I saw that they were one short, I asked if they needed me to join them. I said “needed”, but the reality was that I wanted to play. I am 51 years old and I don’t play basketball much anymore, but I couldn’t help myself. As I jumped into the game, I found myself breathing too hard pretty quickly. I used my patented low post spin-move to score my first basket, but I wasn’t done. A couple minutes later I tried a turnaround fade and just kept fading. I felt my old body fall back and tried to stop myself, but before I knew it, I had cracked the back of my head on the concrete basketball court.
I won’t go into any more details than that on the injury, but I did stand up and head into the center asking one of our amazing leaders for some paper towels to keep on my head as considered the next steps. Then a couple of amazing things happened. The students that had been side-eyeing me earlier in the day about me calling them out on their language, were rushing to find napkins to help me with my head. They were seeking help so that I could get where I needed, and they were asking me if I needed to sit down.
As Mark, our amazing volunteer was closing up the center so that he could take me to urgent care, one of the boys that I was playing with came up to see if I needed anything and told me that he hoped I would be okay. And then he said the one thing that I needed to hear most. “Hey, well at least you made the shot.”
Yeah, I did!
“Hey, thanks man, I needed to hear that.”
As I have been working with students over the years, I try to instill in everyone that I train that the students that we work with want to be known, and are not as scary as they might think they are. I started off the day having to help students learn how to respect each other through language, which is not the greatest way to start a relationship. I ended the day with those same students making sure I was okay, making sure I was safe, and encouraging me. Youth and younger versions of us. We are not one dimensional, we are not fully confident all the time, we struggle with ideas and emotions, and we want to be known, and most of us are looking for a way to help out when needed. If we remember that, it provides us with a great template to get to know these students and care for them. Sure, one generation can have different experiences than the next, but the best way to understand a generation that follows us is to engage in conversation and learn from them.
They want to be known.
So, to the boys I played ball with the other day: thank you for humoring an old man, thank you for helping an old man, and thank you for encouraging an old man. I know that I am not really old, but I am by comparison. And to those that have heard my story, the legend of the one-legged man that threw up a miracle shot while sacrificing his body: I am okay, and the shot counts!
Empowering Middle & High School Youth Across Kitsap & North Mason Counties
At Campus Life, we walk alongside middle school and high school students right where they are. Through our free drop-in centers, we create safe, welcoming spaces for youth to connect with background-checked, trained mentors over games, snacks, tutoring, and life-changing conversations about faith and purpose. Whether through our regular school-year programs, summer camp, or seasonal events, we are dedicated to building authentic relationships across Kitsap and North Mason counties.
Partner with Us to Impact Local Students
Transformation happens when community members step up together. You can partner with us to support local youth outreach, volunteer as a mentor, or help fuel our programs in Poulsbo and Bremerton.
Visit or Connect with Our Drop-In Centers:
The Next Door Center (Poulsbo): 1779 NE Hostmark St, Poulsbo, WA 98370
The Underground Center (Bremerton): 7555 Old Military Road NE, Bremerton, WA 98337
The Westside Center (Bremerton): 1211 Veneta Ave, Bremerton, WA 98337
